Expectations = Disappointment
We are sisters
We live in an imaginary world
filled with unrequited hopes and dreams
We wish we could change the outcome
We strive to live in the moment
We are sisters
Mothers of mentally ill adult children (MIAC) spend much of our time being heartbroken, frustrated, dismayed, bitter, and angry because our expectations don’t match our reality.
When you think about it, expectations are nothing more than our dreams, hopes, desires, and imaginings. Your ideas of what you think should happen in your life are not real. Until something happens, it’s nothing more than a daydream.
But why do you think this way?
Did you parents lead you to believe that you can ask and get whatever you want?
Did your church teach you that all your prayers would be answered?
You believe because you’re a good person everything should fall into place the way you planned?
Having expectations for your MIAC is a sure way to be disappointed.
Are you basing your ‘expectations’ on:
The way your healthy brain works.
The way you’d like things to look.
How things were before he/she got sick.
The way you see other young adults behaving.
What doctors are saying because of a misdiagnosis.
What family members are telling you.
“Worrying is praying for the wrong outcome.”
Do you see how ridiculous this all sounds? From the day your child was born you’ve had hopes, dreams, and expectations.
None of it was more that an imaginary life that you were creating in your mind. Unfortunately, life rarely happens according to our plan. There are too many undetermined factors that play a role in every outcome.
Learning to live in the moment, is the answer. Address what’s happening in front of you, and only that. Don’t dream about the future or fret about the past.
The only thing within your control is this moment right now. It doesn’t mean you can’t hope for the best outcome.
My favorite quote is, “Worrying is praying for the wrong outcome.” So when you do imagine the future, think of what you want and not what you don’t.
Just for today:
I will stop holding onto my expectations for my child.
I will live in the present moment.
I will quit trying to bend my MIAC into someone he or she can’t be.
I will focus on my own health and well-being.